Crossing Lines

The sick sad cycle will never end, never mend, yet will not hesitate to begin. So here I am… again. But this time, this time. The walls are caving in. I love you, I love you! But I cannot be loved. And I want you to know that I’m not what you want. Your eyes dream of a me that I cannot be, and your thoughts race past where I cannot see. There are so many things you don’t know about me. And that is okay, you only need to know one thing. No matter how much I love you, or you love me I cant be loved, its my disease. I can love and love and love, but love is a seed. A seed that can be planted, but will not grow in me.

And it is the hardest thing you will never understand. Im waiting for answers I can’t comprehend. One that could numb every in of me, and crush my one consistent dream. Its amazing how one thing can hold so much joy, so much joy I might never possess. As if the idea of it isn’t enough, its accomponied by lonliness. Because who wants someone that is like the dessert, when they could have a paradise to help make. I dont even blame them for not wanting to become a part of what would only end as a mistake. A mistake. A dissapointment. A tragedy, thats me. I cannot give to the world the one thing it should be able to ask of me. Im sorry mother, and father. And all those who will ever love me. Please just deny me its all I deserve… or I will be left to deny me…